Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Super Bowl XLI Matchup Mania

Count On Losing The Superbowl

How's that?

Count On Losing The Superbowl

That was the exchange I had with my barber Tony on Saturday.

Tony's a fireplug of a man whose business card reads "Keep coming back until I get it right."

"Count on losing the Super Bowl. That's what COLTS stands for." To get a haircut and that kind of information for $10, that's a square deal.

But it's time to get heart attack serious now and take a stab at some of the matchups I'd expect to see come into play on Sunday -- some to exploit, some to fear.

I feel that Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy are pretty predictable in what they do and there shouldn't be many surprises, which isn't to say they aren't doing the job, they simply believe in staying with what works and trying to do it better than the other guy, without major departures.

Marvin Harrison vs. Charles Tillman

Sports Guy Bill Simmons joked that he's waiting for the shortest DVD ever, the 53-second NFL Films production of Marvin Harrison's playoff highlights. Agreed that Marvin tends to play soft, but so does Peanut Tillman, who is a fine cornerback but has been known to lose too many of those jump-ball handfights in big games (though we'll never forget the day Peanut took one away from Randy Moss, whose career more or less ended that day).

Cheap shots aside on Harrison, part of the reason his numbers haven't been great in the playoffs is that teams like Baltimore routinely dedicate extra safety help. I'd fully expect the Bears to follow this pattern and give Peanut some needed help.

Reggie Wayne vs. Nathan Vasher

The extra help rotated to Harrison will put Vasher on the spot, but he's the Bears' top CB. If any jump-balls go up, I always like Vasher's chances against anyone. With mostly one-on-one coverage, I would expect Wayne to be the Colts' top receiver on Sunday and the target of some deep balls.

Though the Colts' fine receivers are worrisome in these matchups, I like the Bears' chances to make up some ground when it comes to 3rd and 4th receivers such as Aaron Moorehead. Ricky Manning is a fine nickel CB. In the Bears' version of the Cover 2, Lance Briggs often covers 3rd and 4th WRs and the Colts don't have the depth to create a matchup problem for Briggs that, say, Brandon Stokley might have in years past.

Dallas Clark vs. Brian Urlacher

Dallas Clark has come on in the playoffs, nearly outproducing his season totals. Personally, if the Bears have to "let a guy try and beat them," I'm fine with it being Clark, despite his 3 good playoff games. He drops more than his share and it would be no surprise if he limps off early. The Colts' previous opponents didn't have the speed of Urlacher, so the Colts don't have a mismatch to exploit here.

Urlacher is perfectly cast keeping an eye on Clark, where he can also provide run support. He's at his best flyin' around and, conversely, at his worst when taking on blocks. Bears fans don't like to hear that, but it's no coincidence Urlacher doesn't have any sacks. The staff is aware of what he does best, which is, as they say, "playing in space."

Jeff Saturday vs. Tank Johnson

The Colts' center has the edge here, big-time. I'm a little nervous about Tank holding his own, especially when the Colts go heavy on the no-huddle, up-tempo offense. By the end of the Patriots game, Saturday was dominating Vince Wilfork. This doesn't bode well for Tank, who lost a bunch of weight and conditioning during his late-season freak-out. On the bright side, Ian Scott and Alfonso Boone at the other tackle position are stout. The Bears didn't lose a lot in run defense when Tommie Harris went down for the season, it's more the loss of pass rush.

Tarik Glenn vs. Alex Brown

It hasn't been Alex Brown's finest year, but he's a play-maker who may just step up on Sunday, though he tends to have his big games against inferior tackles who can't handle his speed rush. The Colts have the edge in this matchup and I expect them to try and take advantage of Brown's (and Mark Anderson's) aggressiveness and looping pass rush by setting up screen passes. I'll be holding my breath when I see Addai flaring out for one.

Ryan Diem vs. Adewale Ogunleye

Wale talked this week about how, one by one, the coaches took him aside at the beginning of the playoffs and told him he hasn't had a very good year, but now it's money time (as in, time to earn yours). Wale agreed it was deserved, and he responded with a very good game against Seattle and a great one against New Orleans.

In addition to the pass rush he should generate, Ogunleye is a nice wildcard for the Bears, who take advantage of his speed by dropping him into coverage. This should allow the Bears to send other rushers, such as Ricky Manning, and hopefully create some confusion for Peyton Manning.

Bernard Berrian vs. Nick Harper

This is easily one of the best matchups for the Bears, it's just a matter of how frequently they can exploit it. Even before Nick Harper's injury is considered (I've heard he's 85%), Berrian is the player the Bears' opponents haven't had an answer for.

As has been discussed, during the regular season the Colts had one of the worst run defenses of all time. While they have shored this up in the playoffs, they have done so by committing extra bodies, primarily lining up safety Bob Sanders in the box.

Trent Green and Steve McNair failed to make the Colts pay for this. Bill Belichick the Genius barely tried to run at the Colts' weakness, rushing only 4 times in the 2nd half of their loss, allowing the Colts to return to playing straight-up Cover 2.

Early in the game, Berrian will have one-on-one opportunities that may not be there later in the game. The biggest decision Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner will have to make Sunday is how early and often to take shots throwing deep to Berrian, at the expense of the smashmouth ball the Bears would like to play.

Muhsin Muhammad vs. Jason David

Muhammad has been pretty disappointing since signing a big contract with the Bears. With a 6-inch height advantage over Jason David, the Bears would hope to see the veteran's playoff experience and guile come into play, giving Grossman some open 10-yard throws as well as a red zone target. Muhammad has the most predictable TD celebration in the NFL today.

Desmond Clark vs. Antoine Bethea

Desmond Clark has had a good playoff run, starring in most of the successful running plays by flattening multiple defenders. He failed to get paid when Grossman missed him in the back of the end zone against the Saints.

It's interesting that the teams play the same defense but the Colts will have a safety covering the TE, while the Bears usually have an LB. Dungy is simply being realistic that his linebackers are mediocre at best, while Smith is getting the most of his outstanding linebackers' speed.

Against the rookie safety, we should see Dez more active in the passing game. And with Bob Sanders playing up to prop up the lousy rush defense, we might see Dez dropping the hammer with some of those deep routes that we saw earlier in the season.

Olin Kreutz vs. Anthony McFarland

Booger McFarland was acquired mid-season and has helped plug up the gaping holes in the Colt run D. Nonetheless, the Bears have an advantage here. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Colts need to adjust to give McFarland some help. When the Bears really get the run game going, it's when Kreutz clears out an overmatched nose tackle and gets upfield to take on LBs.

Dwight Freeney vs. John Tait

Uh oh. This becomes a real ugly matchup for the Bears if they are forced to throw. Previous Colts opponents have seen this - even though it hasn't been Freeney's best year, he can speed rush and loop around anyone when it's a clear passing situation.

Tait hasn't had the best year either, especially given the size of his contract. The Bears might be wise to motion Dez Clark's blocking skills over to the left side to help Tait out.

Robert Mathis vs. Fred Miller

Mathis is another speed rusher who becomes dangerous if the Colts know passes are coming. We've seen for years that the Bears' offensive line is far more effective at run-blocking and a little weak at pass-blocking. Unless the Bears are forced to throw, Miller will be able to push Mathis around and lead Benson & Jones downfield.

Robbie Gould vs. Adam Vinatieri

This year's best kicker versus Mr. Clutch, the guy who's been there before. I only mention it because everyone will talk Vinatieri, but Gould has better range and will give his coverage teams a better chance on kickoffs.

Peyton Manning vs. Rex Grossman

Is the monkey off Manning's back? That's what I've heard, but that's almost saying he's happy to be here. The monkey's still on his back until he wins the big one. The Bears obviously hope Grossman doesn't come out in monkey on roller skates mode.

I'm going to belabor this one more time: I'll be thrilled to see Grossman take off and run when the situation dictates. It's got to be an option to keep the defense honest and pick up a big first down sometime. I hope he's making a vow to himself like he did before the Rams game. For chrissakes, Peyton Manning runs like a giraffe yet he's been scoring rushing TDs this season and picking his spots wisely to add yet another wrinkle to his game.

Devin Hester vs. Colts Special Teams

The Colts Special Teams are terrible. 26th-ranked. The Bears Special Teams are top-ranked, up and down the line. The Colts would be foolish to let Hester do any damage on Sunday. When you're 7-point favorites, you don't let a wildcard like Hester change the game against your confirmed-terrible unit. Bears' up men, look alive, and let's run the squibs back to the 45.

Chris Harris vs. Cato June

The Bears safety and Colts linebacker obviously don't square off against each other, but this is the Fred Thomas Memorial matchup. When there's a big play against these teams, you can count on Chris Harris and Cato June running 5 to 15 yards behind it. Both guys are terrible football players, there's no point in pulling punches.

I'll call this one a draw. While it's easier to pick on a safety than a linebacker, the Bears are aware Harris is a liability and should have some adjustments in store. Despite being pushed around and missing tackle after tackle, June talks a big game and the Colts don't have much of a choice but to accept it, given the other gaping holes they've scrambled to fill.

I'll have to do the math on all these matchups later, but clearly my conclusion will be advantage: BEARSS!

With all due respect to the Colts, the Bears are going to best exploit the Colts' weaknesses by simply playing the style they've played all year. Pound away on the ground with Jones and Benson, throw long passes, and not a whole lot in between.

MVP: Bernard Berrian

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Early Returns: Tank Johnson Scaring Media

Media Day began and, predictably, Tank Johnson drew the largest crowd of reporters.

According to one report, Bill Plaschke of the LA Times asked Tank whether he's been to any nightclubs yet and is he sorry for what happened.

Tank: "Sorry to who?"

Plaschke: "Sorry to society."

Tank turns his back.

Plaschke: "No seriously ... no seriously." None of the the other 30 reporters said another word, and neither did Tank. Total silence. Let the good times roll.

If I'm a Media Day reporter in a sea of geeks with laptops, I'd be more afraid of Ricky Manning than anyone else.

If you haven't guessed, I'm mostly compiling some news you can use from various sources.

My favorite Bear bit thus far: Miami Dolphin Vonnie Holliday is doing some reporter work and trash-talking with some of the Bears. Long-time guy Fred Miller shot back the following smack: "We're enjoying your locker room here at the Super Bowl, Vonnie. Matter of fact, I'm in your locker. My naked, dirty ass is on your stool."

Quotable
A couple fun quotes from the past:

  • Matt Millen, Raiders, Super Bowl XVIII, on being told Russ Grimm said he'd run over his own mother to win the game: "I'd run over Russ Grimm's mother to win the Super Bowl, too."


  • John Matuszak, Raiders, Super Bowl XV, on being spotted out all night in New Orleans: "That's why I was out in the streets. To make sure no one else was."


  • Ernie Holmes, Steelers, Super Bowl X, on host city Miami: "I'll be glad to leave here. I feel like eating palm trees. I don't like this place. It's for people with arthritis. They come here to play golf and to die."
Trends

  • The team that scores first in the Super Bowl is 26-14. The Colts scored first in 10 of their 16 games and won 9 of them. The Bears scored first 9 times and won 8 of them. While it doesn't speak directly to this stat, I have duly noted that the vaunted Colts offense hasn't been getting off to fast starts. They have scored no first-half TDs in their 3 playoff games.


  • Memo to Devin Hester: No player has ever returned a punt for a TD in the Super Bowl, not even MVP Desmond Howard. But if you're superstitious, be careful. There have been 7 kickoff return TDs, but those teams have a 2-5 record.


  • Defense wins championships: The team that allowed the fewest points during the regular season has gone 28-11 in the Super Bowl. The Bears allowed 105 fewer than the Colts this season.


  • OK, I admit it, the AFC has won 7 of the last 9 Super Bowls.

I'll have to keep an eye on the wacky prop bets. So far, I've got a 4-team parlay:

  • Bears on the money line


  • Over/Under 49 points: Under


  • Over/Under Billy Joel National Anthem: 1 minute, 44 seconds: Over


  • Beyonce clocked in at 2:09, according to the authority on the subject.

  • Red Hot Chili Peppers Grammy Wins vs. Muhsin Muhammad Receptions: Muhammad (god help us)

Monday, January 29, 2007

How long have you been a slow-witted sportswriter?

This may be common knowledge, so I'll try not to belabor it. But I think we'll hear it enough times to be warranted.

We'll surely hear The Media grouse about each other & Media Day. With the game in Miami, we may not be hear too many writers complain that the city, hotel, freebies aren't up to their standards. This has been a huge story for them the last few years, how poorly they've been treated.

As we know, Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy are black and that will be a big deal, or at least the writers will make a big deal about not making a big deal of it. This means we'll hear the Doug Williams Media Day story for sure. There's never a shortage of writers who re-write the Doug Williams story as the nadir of journalism, in an effort to separate themselves from their brethren.

Remember when that idiot asked Doug Williams how long he's been a black quarterback? That's who gives us guys a bad name. Some dumbass will probably ask how long Tony and Lovie have been black coaches! Ha!

As many know, Doug Williams was never asked how long he's been a black quarterback. A reporter named Butch John of the Jackson Clarion-Ledger said something to the effect of "Obviously you've been black and a quarterback your whole life. At what point in your life did race become an issue?", Doug Williams misheard him and repeated back the joke question, largely as a send-up of the endless string of questions about being black.

All present had a good laugh. Ever since, chili-stained writers have re-written it annually as their prime example of what a waste of life the OTHER media people are.

So it's not particularly amusing and it never happened. Great anecdote! That makes it the football equivalent of the "Al Gore invented the internet" joke. To some, neither will ever get old, apparently.

For the record, the dumbest Media Day question I know of was asked of Raiders QB Jim Plunkett, son of blind parents: "Lemme get this straight, Jim. Is it blind mother, deaf father or the other way around?"

Though I've seen it mentioned as a dumb question, I like the one where the writer asked a St. Louis defensive lineman: "Is Ram a noun or a verb?"