Lovie Long Time

What a relief that all the nonsense can now stop. Lovie Smith's signed on, for market value. Though it got much less press, Jerry Angelo also had his contract extended. Both guys have earned their extensions - one needs to when the McCaskeys are signing the checks.

So everyone can stop wetting themselves now. Even after Lovie said last week that he wanted to be in Chicago and was confident a deal would get done, many were still up in arms.

The really irritating and disappointing aspect of all this hand-wringing was the speed and fury displayed in taking the agent's side on everything. What happened here is that Lovie's agent, Frank Bauer, wasn't getting the contract extension done, so he slapped the Bears in the face and did his negotiating in the newspaper several days in a row.

Pardon me if I don't join the anti-Bears rush to get behind the slimy agent's unfair tactics. If you were the Bears ownership and the agent called you out in the papers, would you run right back to the table and give him whatever he was asking?

It was only last week when Bauer said: "We're not close, we're not encouraged and based on where talks have gone recently, Lovie will be a free agent after next season. It would take an unforeseen breakthrough for this to get done."

I'd like to hear what the unforeseen breakthrough was. He practically shouted "Fire" in a theater last week, now the deal's done? Right, because negotiations work better when both parties are involved, not a blood-sucking lawyer using the media types to stir up nonsense.

The most irresponsible, divisive and unconscionable ugliness this dragged out was written by Carol Slezak of the Sun-Times. I don't even suggest dignifying it by reading the column. See what I mean?:

"The picture that has emerged, while still blurry, gives rise to a legitimate question: Is Smith's race a factor in the Bears' hesitancy to pay him? If Smith, an African American, were white, would the deal have been done long ago?"

There are less than a handful of minority coaches in the NFL, the Bears hired one of them, but CLEARLY they're a bunch of racists. That explains everything. Case closed.

For christ's sake. And if you kept reading, you'd learn that further proof of the obvious racism is that Brian Urlacher got a big, long-term contract while Lance Briggs got stuck with the franchise tag. White on black.

I'll believe it when Briggs's agent calls the Bears racists in the paper.

One other point about the Lovie hand-wringing: the press went crazy screaming about what the Falcons paid new NFL coach Bobby Petrino -- $4.8 million a year. When the reports said the Bears were offering Lovie $4M, there was Petrino-based outrage. What a slap in the face to Lovie! As Doug Buffone would say, "Aw, stawp yourselves."

Arthur Blank and the Atlanta Falcons are idiots, gang. The number that's way out of whack is Petrino's. For example Cam Cameron, once a very hot college coach who has NFL experience, including running a mildly successful San Diego Charger offense, will be making $2.5M with the Dolphins.

It's the Falcons fans who should be outraged that they don't get more for $4.8 million. They get some joker out of Kentucky with no experience, just the idea that the layer of bong resin on Michael Vick's brain is thin enough that he should be calling his own plays.

Kudos to Lovie and Jerry on their paydays. Jerry, last draft was about icing the cake, Lovie's going to need some meat and potatoes this time around to keep his Bears future bright.

And while I don't go in for Hollywood much around here, kudos to Alan Arkin on the Best Supporting Actor award. Nice jawb! To borrow my favorite quote of Arkin's from Little Miss Sunshine, and point it at the muckraking Chicago press:


We can tell em all to go to hell.


Go to hell, Slezak.