Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Early Returns: Tank Johnson Scaring Media

Media Day began and, predictably, Tank Johnson drew the largest crowd of reporters.

According to one report, Bill Plaschke of the LA Times asked Tank whether he's been to any nightclubs yet and is he sorry for what happened.

Tank: "Sorry to who?"

Plaschke: "Sorry to society."

Tank turns his back.

Plaschke: "No seriously ... no seriously." None of the the other 30 reporters said another word, and neither did Tank. Total silence. Let the good times roll.

If I'm a Media Day reporter in a sea of geeks with laptops, I'd be more afraid of Ricky Manning than anyone else.

If you haven't guessed, I'm mostly compiling some news you can use from various sources.

My favorite Bear bit thus far: Miami Dolphin Vonnie Holliday is doing some reporter work and trash-talking with some of the Bears. Long-time guy Fred Miller shot back the following smack: "We're enjoying your locker room here at the Super Bowl, Vonnie. Matter of fact, I'm in your locker. My naked, dirty ass is on your stool."

A couple fun quotes from the past:

  • Matt Millen, Raiders, Super Bowl XVIII, on being told Russ Grimm said he'd run over his own mother to win the game: "I'd run over Russ Grimm's mother to win the Super Bowl, too."

  • John Matuszak, Raiders, Super Bowl XV, on being spotted out all night in New Orleans: "That's why I was out in the streets. To make sure no one else was."

  • Ernie Holmes, Steelers, Super Bowl X, on host city Miami: "I'll be glad to leave here. I feel like eating palm trees. I don't like this place. It's for people with arthritis. They come here to play golf and to die."

  • The team that scores first in the Super Bowl is 26-14. The Colts scored first in 10 of their 16 games and won 9 of them. The Bears scored first 9 times and won 8 of them. While it doesn't speak directly to this stat, I have duly noted that the vaunted Colts offense hasn't been getting off to fast starts. They have scored no first-half TDs in their 3 playoff games.

  • Memo to Devin Hester: No player has ever returned a punt for a TD in the Super Bowl, not even MVP Desmond Howard. But if you're superstitious, be careful. There have been 7 kickoff return TDs, but those teams have a 2-5 record.

  • Defense wins championships: The team that allowed the fewest points during the regular season has gone 28-11 in the Super Bowl. The Bears allowed 105 fewer than the Colts this season.

  • OK, I admit it, the AFC has won 7 of the last 9 Super Bowls.

I'll have to keep an eye on the wacky prop bets. So far, I've got a 4-team parlay:

  • Bears on the money line

  • Over/Under 49 points: Under

  • Over/Under Billy Joel National Anthem: 1 minute, 44 seconds: Over

  • Beyonce clocked in at 2:09, according to the authority on the subject.

  • Red Hot Chili Peppers Grammy Wins vs. Muhsin Muhammad Receptions: Muhammad (god help us)

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